Professional Photographer: $425
Noting that the water pressure release bolt at the top of the hydrant is in someplace uncomfortable: Priceless
Now as soon as this human is done taking this adorable little wildlife photo, I am going to let you go. You are going to run away as fast and far as you can. Because as soon as I'm done mauling him, you're next.
FLIPPIN' THE BIRD YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
Where in hell did he go?
Over here, pall. And I don't pose for free you know!
Dude, come on.
It's like five in the morning