There really is a glass ceiling
Professional Photographer: $425
Noting that the water pressure release bolt at the top of the hydrant is in someplace uncomfortable: Priceless
FLIPPIN' THE BIRD YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
Now as soon as this human is done taking this adorable little wildlife photo, I am going to let you go. You are going to run away as fast and far as you can. Because as soon as I'm done mauling him, you're next.
Excuse me sir, but you need to aim the camera at me!