husband

-Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? --I would, but you're never home when it occurs.
Via: I Raff, I Ruse
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-Why don't you tell me when you have an org@sm? --I would, but you're never home when it occurs.

Honey, why is there's nothing to eat in here? It's your job to do the shopping, you know. Wouldja go out and get me a pizza and some brewskies before the game starts? @#$%#
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Recaption

"Honey, why is there nothing to eat in here? It's your job to do the shopping, you know. Wouldja go out and get me a pizza and some brewskies before the game starts?" "@#$%#"

You never notice my new outfits. This one with the feather fan cost me three mice and a vole. You could at least look at it.
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Recaption

You never notice my new outfits. This one with the feather fan cost me three mice and a vole. You could at least look at it.