Oh watermelon... You understand me!

Mom. Can I keep him?

Now as soon as this human is done taking this adorable little wildlife photo, I am going to let you go. You are going to run away as fast and far as you can. Because as soon as I'm done mauling him, you're next.

Dude, there are many fish in the sea. The problem is you suck at fishing, and we are far from the sea.