Shut Up, Calgon. You Talk Too Much.

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Shut Up, Calgon.  You Talk Too Much.
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Calgon, take me away! Where? Where exactly do you want to go? It's true that, I, Calgon, the Magnificent Lampshade, can grant wishes, but you've got to be a little more specific. Just try to work with me, okay?

Walking the Fine Line Between Confidence and Crazy

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Walking the Fine Line Between Confidence and Crazy
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OVER THERE, We shall advance awesomely in that direction and I shall be awesome over there too. Quite possibly in an epic manner. Did you get my good side? The sun wasn't too strong was it?

How Me a Dunce Learned Reading?

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How Me a Dunce Learned Reading?
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Upon reflection, the dunce hat itself may well have contributed to my lack of reading skills....

PLEASE?! PRETTY PLEASE WITH A FEATHER ON TOP?!?!

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PLEASE?!  PRETTY PLEASE WITH A FEATHER ON TOP?!?!
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They call me Ferdinand Five-Feathers Ask me nicely and I'll show you where the Fifth one goes...