LAST NIGHT IS A BLUR. I vaguely remember sucking titties, and then sh**ting myself.
Because shots take too long.
It's gotten so much harder to stand up since I switched to Long Island Iced Tea.
THE WILDLIFE EQUIVALENT OF DRIVING THE PORCELAIN BUS
Bingle jells, Bingle jells, Bingle awl teh ...
Coming Up on Behind The Music: Alvin and the Chipmunks
You know it was a good party when you wake up in a bin, holding a guitar that isn't even yours.