I AM GUARDING MY ASS SIR!
"Honey, why is there nothing to eat in here? It's your job to do the shopping, you know. Wouldja go out and get me a pizza and some brewskies before the game starts?"
Do you see the difference now?
One is an ass... one is a hole in the ground!
We all need our ass kissed sometimes
You starin' at my ass?