Now, it's very important that you get the filets onto the stove while the bastard's still screaming. It's not effective revenge if he can't hear himself sizzling.
Step 1 to Cooking: Remove cat from pan.
I was told this wristband was for cancer awareness
WHEN THE RECIPE CALLED FOR A SQUIRT OF JUICE, I DON'T THINK THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD IN MIND
Ipod, my @$$ Im NOT gonna lose another one in there...
Note to self: Advise son to check out her cooking before marriage
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