ONLY THE DEAD HAVE SEEN THE END OF WAR
Mommy, I'm tired of drinking milk all the time. I want a tall glass of single-malt scotch too!
Soon enough, dear!
Listen man, I only asked for the signs, I can't take that kid! What do you mean why? I can't plan a kid in my yard!
The Daddy Decoy! now with twice the abandonment issues
"Aim for the stars," they said. "Aim for the head," I say.
No! I hate going to Grandma's!
And then I made myself REAL BIG like this and the Orca got terrified and swam away.
College can't come soon enough.