Breaking News - And if you buy now, ELITE will provide complementary ass-beatings for the first 50 people who cut you off in traffic!!!
BUT I DON'T WANNA LIVE WITH ANGELINA JOLIE
On an unrelated note, Dear Captioners, we have decided not to go forward with this week's caption contest due to complaints about the nature of the photo. Sorry about that. We'll have a new contest starting Friday!