I Smell a Double Standard

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I Smell a Double Standard
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Wait - why aren't I squee? I'm small. I'm fuzzy. And I got eight eyes to look adoringly at you!

Hope You Find the Guy Though. If It Is a Guy, I Mean

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Hope You Find the Guy Though. If It Is a Guy, I Mean
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Hmm, you say someone got into your attic, chewed a hole in your antique quilt, and stuffed it full of nuts and seeds? Nope, got no idea who could have done that.