Oh, while you're up I could use a sammich.

get ur own sammich!

i'm watching the game here can you keep it down?

sum goggies r big sportz fanz.

MET ONLINE. FIRST DATE.

Should have been more suspicious when profile said 'likes long walks and bellyrubs'.

he shud try a goggie online datin sait nex tiem.

Don't call us... We'll call you.

do u eben kno how 2 use dat iphone?

OK!, THIS IS AWKWARD.

iz dat moar or less awkwurd den dis?

Aye, it may be 'eco-friendly', but this new vegan dog food is crap.

meybe u need 2 try walkin veggies?