Tell dat storee agin, bout hao wen u wuz a pup dere wuz no cheezburger site n stoopy hoomns spent moar tym playin wif aminuls.

tayks meh bak 2 da gud ole dayz!

Of course that character isn't based on you you aren't interesting enough.

where shud ai put in da plot twistz?

Iz not fallin asleep I is listening to your enchanting tale

plz, ai needs u 2 be a beddur story tellur!

I just can't shake this writer's block

u need some yoonique inspurayshuns, aifinkso!

AND THEN THE WOLF ATE RED RIDING HOOD AND HE AND GRANDMOTHER LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Poor Baks had an accident and lost his sight, but his friend Buttons, a goose, wouldn't let it get him down! Buttons volunteered to be the seeing eye goose for Baks and they now are inseperable. Buttons leads the way and Baks gratefully follows! Hooray for animal friends!

He said my fud was "just right" and went to sleep in my bed!