Look! daz me! but why is dare words on my face ?

it iz called capshuning!

training your hooman... easier than you think

ur awlmost dere! keeps it up!

To avoid some serious de-furring and bloodletting all over your clean floor on my part, a little help in removing kitteh from my bed please?

rill, ai lubs mai bed and i needs it bak 4 important stuffs.

i read yo fortune.... its nooot good...

ai fink ai noez why!

conspiracy doggies doubt your proof against aliens

ai beeleev in da aleins!

screw the cheezburgers i gots a pizza!

screw pizza.. i gots stayk!